Never the trendsetter, the NFL pulled the ultimate “Cool Dad move” this week when it released individual hashtags and emojis for each team. Corporations invading Twitter is almost always a bad thing, but seeing as the NFL will begin broadcasting games over the social media platform this season, it was a natural transition. Expecting Cardinals fans to start hash-tagging the seemingly random command of “Be Red See Red;” that transition may take a little longer.
For every hashtag that actually makes sense (#RiseUp, #WhoDey) there’s one that doesn’t (#FeedDaBears, #HereWeGo). Then there’s the lazy teams who just used their names (Really Cowboys? No other phrase came to mind?)
With a full slate of NFL games on tap today, we’d hate for fans to have to follow along with such a ridiculous shill. Instead we’ve come up with some more accurate hashtags to capture some teams around the league. Why not use these to complain about you’re terrible team today?
Chicago: #1985 – The final step to admitting this team hasn’t been culturally relevant for 30 years.
Cleveland: #GoCavs – NBA season is just around the corner.
Dallas: #AmericasPunchingBag – Currently the Trump campaign hashtag, but the Cowboys should get a jump on it for when it comes available next season.
Jacksonville: #RememberBrunell – Nothing happened to Mark Brunell; the Jags should just occasionally remind fans that their used to be happier times.
Kansas City: #ChiefConcerns – Among them, Andy Reid still doesn’t know how to use timeouts.
Los Angeles: #AnythingBut7&9 – Pretty self-explanatory.
Miami: #WhenDoesWalkingDeadStart? – Oct. 23, the same day New England will clinch the East.
New England: #(a middle finger emoji) – Since Pats fans only use Twitter to complain anyways.
San Diego: #BoltforLA – Sure to be the rally cry when this team starts 0-6.
San Francisco: #KneelB4Chip – It’s topical, while also honoring their coach’s totalitarian regime.
Seattle: #GoCavs – Once a bandwagoner, always a bandwagoner.
Tampa Bay: #BuccleUp – See, I can do puns too!