NFL “Watchability” Rankings


“It’s too early in the year to start doing power rankings,” screamed a voice in the back of my head.

“But we’re launching the website soon and I need to do some rankings,” I said to myself with the outloud confidence of the weird guy at the bus stop who talks to himself.

Then it hit me. Sure we’re months away from the NFL regular season, but that doesn’t mean it’s too early to start planning your football getaways. I know I poured over the NFL schedule after it was released, drooling over all the juicy matchups. Granted, many Week 12 games that look sexy now could be rendered completely useless come November. But today is for the dreamers!

And so I’ve dreamt up my first installment of the NFL “Watchability” rankings! I’ve gone through each team and ranked them from best to worst in terms of how excited I am to see them on TV. Team no. 1 is appointment viewing, team no. 32 is check the boxscore online (maybe).

I stress, these are not rankings for a team’s Super Bowl chances. It’s simply a list of how much I want to watch them, based off how fun their style of play is, whether they have interesting storylines, and/or if they inspire such feelings of hatred that I can’t look away.

These are the inaugural NFL “Watchability” rankings. Adjust your TVs accordingly.

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Don’t call them “draft grades”: NFC edition


Welcome to! This is the inaugural post on the site. There was a lot of fan-fare and anticipation in the online world for our arrival, but then my step-dad Tweeted out a picture of me watching soccer right before this went up. That made readers nervous about my NFL bona fides and now only folks in Miami are willing to take a chance on me.

But that just means I’m coming to the league, er, the internet, with a chip on my shoulder, motivated to give you the best darn NFL analysis I can, proving all the doubters wrong.

I’ll start with the NFL draft. Once Mr. Irrelevant hears his name called, every football site is keen to give out draft grades. I’m not going to do the same-old. I’m here to innovate, to provide a fresh voice in an over-saturated and complacent NFL-writing market. So instead of handing out draft grades, I’m going to allocate draft yards. (The site’s called FootballYards, after all.)

Imagine the draft as an opening kickoff that’s caught five-yards deep in the end zone. Based on each team’s draft picks, I assess how far they metaphorically returned the kick.

Did you address all your needs in an efficient manner? Congratulations, you’re starting the drive from the 40!

Did you haemorrhage picks in order to move up the board, only to take a guy you could have gotten later anyway? Sorry, you tripped over the goal line and are starting from the three.

How is that different from assigning a simple letter grade? First: it’s more convoluted. Second: shut-up.

Off we go! Today, I cover the NFC. Tomorrow, who knows? (Probably the AFC.)

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